


you got me shot down (by love)

by fourleafs



Series: is it too much to ask [1]
Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/F, Other Characters Are Mentioned, hizzie if u squint like... really hard, idk im sad and its missing penelope park hours, idk what to tag tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21540907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourleafs/pseuds/fourleafs
Summary: Josie doesn’t do “I love you”s and Penelope’s okay with that. As long as she knows that Penelope loves her, it’s fine. Everything’s fine.(It’s not fine.)
Relationships: Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Series: is it too much to ask [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553161
Comments: 6
Kudos: 166





	you got me shot down (by love)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing so like. don’t be surprised if it’s trash  
> also i prolly fucked up the timeline but it’s set in s1
> 
> title from shot down by khalid
> 
> there WILL be a part 2 to this but not a 2nd chapter bc i have a really fitting title for it. but it should be finished soon :)
> 
> also i have a tumblr @ fourvleafs just in case yall wanna send me prompts or something idk

Josie isn’t terrible at Wickery. Okay, that’s being generous, she’s pretty bad at it. Her long limbs just don’t seem to coordinate with each other enough to play a decent game. The sight of a frustrated Josie is always entertaining for Penelope, so she doesn’t bother hiding her smile when she sees her girlfriend pout as the pass she made didn’t even make it close to Kaleb.

It’s the last game of the season, and they’re down 5 points. Pretty impressive, until she remembers that the other team only has 5 points.

Speaking of the other team, they’re playing against Mystic Falls High. The snobby public school kids that think Salvatore is filled with rich brats. They’re right, somewhat.

At least half of Salvatore’s students are rich, or bratty, or both. Herself included. But she doesn’t like them, and she’ll never have to truly interact with them, so she doesn’t bother to prove them right. Being forced to lose every game is proof enough, they don’t need Penelope flashing her expensive diamonds around them too.

Mystic Falls High makes another point, and she hears another frustrated groan come from Josie’s place on the field. She calls for a timeout and huddles up the team near Penelope’s place on the bench. 

It infuriates them to lose all the time, so Penelope really shouldn’t be surprised when the team decides to play to win. Except she is surprised, because it was Josie’s idea. Her Josie. Headmaster’s daughter, straight A student, notorious good girl, had never even broken a rule before she had met Penelope (not counting the unspoken rules, like not setting dorms on fire, for example).

Penelope knows it’s a bad idea, they need to lose, for their reputation. But fuck it. Alaric isn’t there — he never is — and it’s the last game, it’s not like they’ll qualify for finals. And most importantly, when Josie is determined to do something, there’s no stopping her. 

So, she doesn’t stop them like she should. She doesn’t tell them to focus and keep playing dumb. No, she lets them continue on.

Despite having the obvious upper hand that comes with being a Salvatore student, it’s still surprising that they manage to win. 9-6. If she wasn't in on it, she'd find it a little suspicious how they hadn’t made a single point the entire game, yet in the last ten minutes had made 9. 

What’s also surprising is that her girlfriend made the winning catch. And Josie is just so happy and cute, and she looks positively radiant even after an intense game. When they’re close enough, Penelope pulls her into a deep kiss and mutters against her lips,

“God, I love you.”

And then she freezes. She hadn’t meant to say those words out loud, but it’s not like she didn’t mean them. She’d been thinking of how to tell Josie for weeks now, and this certainly wasn’t on her list. And even though it was an accident, the words were out now. All she can do is hold her breath and listen for Josie’s response.

She hears an “Oh. Uh...” before she realizes that Josie’s probably really overwhelmed right now. She just won a Wickery game that her father will be pissed about, everyone’s attention is on her, and finals are coming up. She probably can’t even think properly right now.

So, she tells Josie the first thing she can come up with.

“I- I didn’t... I mean, I did, but... Sorry. You don’t have to say it back yet or anything.” She knows that she said it to make them both feel better, but she still gets her hopes up. Still waits to hear 3 words fall from her favorite lips.

All she gets is a small “Cool, thanks” and another kiss before she’s being dragged off to the celebratory party the wolves were throwing.

The first time it happens, she shrugs it off. _‘She’s just not ready,’_ she thinks. _‘It’ll happen eventually.’_

Except it doesn’t. Not any time soon at least, maybe not ever. But that’s fine, whatever Josie’s comfortable with.

***

The second time it happens, Penelope gets the timing wrong.

Josie’s skin is still flushed from an intense make out session, that was clearly heading somewhere sinful before Penelope had uttered those 3 words.

Her breathing isn’t under control yet, so she takes the time to collect her thoughts. She can’t come up with anything useful — full of the beautiful image of Josie panting above her — so she settles on kissing her again. 

She slides her lips down her neck, and focuses on the junction connecting her shoulder and throat. This is Penelope’s favorite spot to kiss, feeling Josie’s pulse underneath her lips. Knowing that the heart she feels beating is just so full of love, even if she doesn’t say it.

And even though she knows Josie loves it, as told by her light moans and hips grinding down, she’s pushing her away. She says something about homework before hopping off Penelope’s lap, giving her one last peck on the lips before walking out her dorm.

Penelope sighs, of course she’s ruined another perfect moment with Josie.

***

The third time it happens, Penelope realizes something.

Josie doesn’t do “I love you”s and Penelope’s okay with that. As long as she knows that Penelope loves her, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. 

It’s not fine. It hurts, but Penelope puts on a brave face. Squares her shoulders like it doesn’t even faze her. But it hurts, hurts so bad all she wants to do is run away and cry in her room. 

But she can’t. She’s Penelope Park, head witch in charge. She owns this school and everyone in it, but Josie owns her.

So no matter how much it hurts her, she still smiles like nothing’s wrong. And, against her better judgment, she grabs Josie’s hand and drags them to her dorm, where she can really show Josie how much she loves her.

A stupid attempt to see if Josie loves her too, is all it really is. Well, not really stupid. Anything involving Josie Saltzman could never be stupid.

Except one thing. Penelope Park. Yeah, she was pretty fucking stupid. Or at least, that’s how it feels when she wakes up the next morning and Josie’s gone. The only thing telling her that last night was real is the note left on Penelope’s dresser.

_‘Lizzie and Hope had another argument. Had to go make sure Hope’s head was still attached. I miss you already :(‘_

And yeah, maybe Penelope is stupid, but the warmth in her chest is a result of the possibility that Josie could love her back. And that’s all she needs, all she can hang on to.

***

Evidently, it’s not all she needs. She needs to hear it, to feel it.

What she does feel, is that Josie’s starting to pull away. From her. And Penelope can’t have that, she doesn’t think she’d be able to function without Josie.

Penelope organizes a date on their tenth-and-a-half month anniversary. It’s nearly identical to their first date from just a year earlier: a late night picnic in the forest surrounding the school.

There are fairy lights hanging from the trees surrounding them, enclosed in a blanket fort of sorts. A picnic basket full of snacks sits in the center of the floor blanket, with candles surrounding it (plastic of course, Josie can’t be trusted around real ones anymore). Penelope’s laptop sits off to the side, Netflix pulled up, ready to play Josie’s choice.

Everything was done by hand, no magic involved. Because Josie is worth the extra effort of making sure the lights are in exactly the right place, of baking the cookies she knows she loves (they’re an odd mix of tomato soup and apple spice, but they taste like heaven and feel like cake, even if the recipe is almost impossible to find).

Josie deserves the world, because she is Penelope’s world.

After hours of goofing off, feeding each other the last bits of the cookies, they sit in silence. The credits of the documentary they had been watching roll as Penelope looks to her left.

She looks at her girlfriend with a special glint in her eyes, and Josie squirms uncomfortably.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“No. I’m loving the view.”

The silence comes back and it isn’t awkward, but it isn’t entirely comfortable either. It’s tense, like they’re both looking for the right words to say.

They speak at the same time.

“I lo-“

“We should break up.”

Josie breaks her heart with 4 simple words, and all Penelope can do is nod and say is 3.

“Anything you want.”

And with tears in her eyes, she walks Josie back to her dorm. Because even though she just had her heart ripped out her chest and shot right in front of her eyes, she’d be damned if anything happened to the taller girl. 

Even as she wants to be selfish for once and tell Josie that no, they aren’t breaking up, that they’re gonna fix whatever’s wrong and go back to normal, she can’t. She doesn’t want Josie hurting just as much as she is, so she’ll be selfless. Again. But only for Josie. 

Everything she does, it’s all for Josie.

***

Despite having a pretty decent friendship with the other girl, Lizzie turns on Penelope fairly quickly. And granted, it makes sense, she isn’t dating her sister anymore. There’s really no reason for them to hang out anymore. 

But Lizzie turning on her also means Hope and MG turn on her too. And really, those are her only friends. And it sucks to not only lose the love of her life, but to lose her friends too.

Lizzie is the hardest to avoid in the halls. It’s as if the girl is actively seeking her out, just to tell her that Josie’s better off without her. To call her Satan, as if she ever had the intention of hurting Josie.

She doesn’t even know what she did, doesn’t know how to make it better. She doesn’t know what Lizzie knows, but she figures whatever Josie told her is the reason Lizzie is treating her like this.

And she’s starting to take it to heart. So much so, that when her mother sends her a letter telling her about an all witch school in Belgium, she actually thinks about attending.

She decides to give Josie a month. A month to decide whether she wants to get back together or not. Penelope writes her a letter and when both the twins are gone, leaves it under Josie’s pillow, slightly sticking out to ensure that she’ll see it.

And on April 15th, she doesn’t hear a word from Josie. Hasn’t heard anything the entire month.

***

The last time it happens, it’s more of a goodbye. A last chance, or maybe just wishful thinking.

She has tears in her eyes. That always seems to happen when she just so much as thinks about Josie. She still can’t believe she lost her.

She thinks she can see tears in Josie’s eyes too, but she must be wrong. Josie doesn’t miss her, she didn’t even read Penelope’s letter.

But she still looks upset, and that confuses Penelope. Even instills just a tiny bit of hope in her heart.

Seeing her is too much for Penelope. She can’t help herself, she launches herself into Josie’s arms.

She kisses Josie, and Josie kisses her back. It’s perfect, and everything she’s been missing. She feels at peace in the taller girls arms, at home. Like nothing can hurt her, except Josie.

Instead of pulling back, she just presses harder into Josie. If she can’t have her, she at least wants to be remembered. She wants to be the best Josie’s ever had. This is the only time she’ll ever be selfish with her.

When they pull apart, Penelope doesn’t waste any time and pulls her close again, this time into a hug. She just wants to hold Josie, she wants to remember every inch of her, body and mind alike.

She leans up to whisper her final words into Josie’s ear.

“I love you, JoJo.”

And then Penelope’s walking away from her, out of her life for the unforeseeable future. She can feel her heart drop down to the floor, crashing into a million tiny pieces.

Deep down, she thinks, _‘I love you, too.’_


End file.
